The Habits of My Optimism

Let's face it, if we really want to talk about and focus on bad stuff, we can find sources everywhere. Tornadoes, floods, government corruption, and our Nation's financial woes are cluttering the newspapers and air waves. I hardly have to do a thing and I can get sucked into a dismal abyss of negativity.

As for me though, I'd rather walk around my little world with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. It feels better to me that way. But, there are days when it's hard, even for me (a self-professed optimist), to find the energy and courage to smile that smile, to sing that song.

So, how DO I find that energy? What is the source of that courage? Where do the smiles come from? The truth is, there are a few habits that help.

Honestly, it's not like I walk around all day, specifically looking for things to laugh at or scanning for people who will lift my spirits in order to feel happy. But I do think I've developed some habits concerning optimism.

Can you believe, I used to be a very shy person? I wanted to be more outgoing (thinking that was the secret to happiness), so I consulted a colleague. She challenged me to simply look at and smile at each person I passed in the course of my day. I didn't need to wave or say anything, just try to make eye contact and smile. Let me tell you, I pass a lot of people in a lot of hallways in a lot of schools in the course of a week, as well as random people in the grocery store, at the gas station, etc. The research about developing habits says you need 10-40 daily repetitions of something until it becomes a habit. So I did it. Every day I smiled. And smiled. And smiled some more. For two solid months. And you know what? A smile is now my natural expression, and it has become easy to smile (and even say hello) each time I pass someone.

Here's what happens. When you make yourself smile, even if you don't feel like it, people often smile back. Sometimes they say hello. Sometimes they even pay you a compliment. Often a conversation ensues. Happiness attracts happiness. For people who claim to dislike drama even though it seems to keep finding them, this is an effective strategy to try. I often ask my children, "What's wrong?" to which they glumly reply, "Nothing." My answer, "Then would you please notify your face?"  :)

Basically, if you want to find something to smile at, try smiling!

Here are a few other things I try to do consciously:

• Hug someone DAILY (I hug my children, but you can hug anyone!)
• Listen to music (I'm currently loving late 60's stuff because I'm teaching my daughter about it)
• Try a bedtime routine. Set out clothes, use your coffeepot timer, pack your lunch. It feels good going to sleep with no worries about these things.
• Get out in the fresh air.

If I didn't do these things daily, I wouldn't be so happy and upbeat daily. Trust me, I know. I've tried it, and it's not pretty. What I'm saying to you is what others have said to me - if your life isn't happy the way it is, if you wish you could find the courage and energy to be more positive, YOU need to change a few things. You can't change government. You can't change nature. You most definitely can't change other people. 

But you can smile! You can hug! You can get regular, healthy sleep! I believe you can do all of these things, and many more, to begin to bring that positive energy into your life. Try it, and have some pancakes on me. :)

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Wow, I've always wanted to do this!

I've dreamed of this moment as a fledgling writer...the moment I created my very own blog. It's a portal, straight into my very own thoughts, of which I have many, every day. (You'll see.) And now the day has arrived, not because I finally placed it at the top of my "Do It Or Die" list, but because I wanted to enter a contest. A writer's contest. But, see, to enter the contest, I had to provide a link to my very own blog.

So here we are...now I have my very own blog BUT all of my creative juices for the day have been used up, before I even write my very first entry. You see, one of the first things the fine people at blogger.com asked me to do tonight was to*name* my very own blog.

I will give you a tiny view into my very own brain as I recount the process of creating the name for this blog. Now, I really like alliteration. So, I thought, why not alliterate the name of my blog? I tried "Musings of a Messy Mom" (but really, I've started to become quite organized so that didn't work). Then I tried "Whispers in the Wind" (but I'm not really quiet and hardly ever whisper), "Dabblings in the Dark" (but that sounded pornographic, for some reason), and "Waiting for Wisdom" (but I'm no dummy). I decided to do away with all that alliteration and moved on instead to the more clever titles.

I think I'm a pretty sweet person, so I thought about "With Sugar On Top." Yeah, I nearly choked on that too. And then...it struck me! I am in the process of redesigning my life, so why not "Trina's Life Redesigned?" But no...that sounded too much like HGTV (which I love, love, love, by the way, but which doesn't make for good blog-naming). I came up with several LAME names, like "The Mom Diaries," "The Writer's Apprentice," and even "We All Have a Story and Here's Mine." No comments necessary.

Finally, I went back to alliteration. I wrote on my page "Please Pass The...."  Then I made a list of words that begin with P. Patience, Popcorn, Peace, Poptarts, Pride, Progress, Paddle, Pail, and Parachute. I googled "words that begin with P." My search led to a website that explains dream elements that begin with P. Eureka!!! There it was! As soon as I read the significance of dreaming about pancakes (which I've actually done, I'll have you know) I knew that was it.

So....don't say I didn't try to warn you. My thoughts get a little crazy at times, but they are usually fun and often entertaining. Some of my posts from here on out might be a tad more serious and, hopefully, most will have much more meaning than this. Above all, I hope that my writing will reach into your heart and bring a ray of hope, a smile, or a tear, for it's the sharing of our hearts that makes us human, after all. Thanks for reading, have a great day, and please pass the pancakes. :)