As for me though, I'd rather walk around my little world with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. It feels better to me that way. But, there are days when it's hard, even for me (a self-professed optimist), to find the energy and courage to smile that smile, to sing that song.
So, how DO I find that energy? What is the source of that courage? Where do the smiles come from? The truth is, there are a few habits that help.
Honestly, it's not like I walk around all day, specifically looking for things to laugh at or scanning for people who will lift my spirits in order to feel happy. But I do think I've developed some habits concerning optimism.
Can you believe, I used to be a very shy person? I wanted to be more outgoing (thinking that was the secret to happiness), so I consulted a colleague. She challenged me to simply look at and smile at each person I passed in the course of my day. I didn't need to wave or say anything, just try to make eye contact and smile. Let me tell you, I pass a lot of people in a lot of hallways in a lot of schools in the course of a week, as well as random people in the grocery store, at the gas station, etc. The research about developing habits says you need 10-40 daily repetitions of something until it becomes a habit. So I did it. Every day I smiled. And smiled. And smiled some more. For two solid months. And you know what? A smile is now my natural expression, and it has become easy to smile (and even say hello) each time I pass someone.
Here's what happens. When you make yourself smile, even if you don't feel like it, people often smile back. Sometimes they say hello. Sometimes they even pay you a compliment. Often a conversation ensues. Happiness attracts happiness. For people who claim to dislike drama even though it seems to keep finding them, this is an effective strategy to try. I often ask my children, "What's wrong?" to which they glumly reply, "Nothing." My answer, "Then would you please notify your face?" :)
Basically, if you want to find something to smile at, try smiling!
Here are a few other things I try to do consciously:
- Hug someone DAILY (I hug my children, but you can hug anyone!)
- Listen to music (I'm currently loving late 60's stuff because I'm teaching my daughter about it)
- Try a bedtime routine. Set out clothes, use your coffeepot timer, pack your lunch. It feels good going to sleep with no worries about these things.
- Get out in the fresh air.
If I didn't do these things daily, I wouldn't be so happy and upbeat daily. Trust me, I know. I've tried it, and it's not pretty. What I'm saying to you is what others have said to me - if your life isn't happy the way it is, if you wish you could find the courage and energy to be more positive, YOU need to change a few things. You can't change government. You can't change nature. You most definitely can't change other people.
But you can smile! You can hug! You can get regular, healthy sleep! I believe you can do all of these things, and many more, to begin to bring that positive energy into your life. Try it, and have some pancakes on me. :)
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